Of Bullies and Monsters

One of the worst cases I ever investigated involved a man we’ll call Gregory.  At some point Gregory met Geneva, a single mother of three who lived life tired, lonely and always behind in her bills. Gregory was no great catch, but Geneva wanted some help, and maybe even someone to hold during thunderstorms. 

I saw their wedding photo once.  He held a grim expression, like people from the earliest days of photography.  Geneva smiled, but even then it seemed to be a pose created of desperation.  A happy wedding day, I suppose, and two weeks later he beat the crap out of her. 

We didn’t enter the scene until years after that wedding photo, and when we did it wasn’t to deal with the fact that Gregory was a vicious wife beater.  It was to investigate allegations that Gregory had been having sex with Geneva’s daughter. 

Gregory grew tired of working two years into the marriage.  He called it “back pain,” but I think he was just a lazy fake who sent Geneva out to bring home the bacon.  She accepted his laziness and his brutality, and every day she’d go off to work and leave him alone with her two little girls. 

Stephanie would get in trouble when Geneva left.  Who knows what heinous act five-year-old Stephanie did?  Whatever it was, it got her sent to his bedroom where Gregory would mete out her punishment.

He’d punish her for an hour each time. 

Stephanie didn’t tell her mother about the rapes until she was eleven.  By that time Gregory had fled the country, and Stephanie finally felt safe enough to tell.

Geneva and Stephanie fought constantly after the girl told her story.  Sometimes Geneva wanted to hug her to make all the pain go away, but at other times she’d look her little girl in the face and accuse her of lying or blame her for breaking up the marriage.  Some would say there is a special place in hell for Geneva; some would say she was already in it. 

All I know is that Stephanie was a shattered human being when we met her.  Her eyes were dead, and any sense of humor she’d ever had was squashed.  She barely tolerated people, though I’m told she was a joyful child before Gregory ruined her. 

Gregory was eventually caught, and there is some satisfaction in knowing he’ll never see outside a prison window again.  But Geneva is still beaten down by this world, and Stephanie may never be whole again. 

Gregory was a cruel, selfish man.  He tortured and raped when it suited him and never felt remorse for his actions until the day he was finally caught. This falls in line with studies that show children living in an environment of domestic violence are 1500 times more likely to be assaulted, and approximately 30% of routinely abused children are also sexually abused.  The mentality of harem-master entitlement and slave master cruelty is fundamental to an epidemic of violence and sexual predation, and the only way to stop this tragedy is to expose the secrets, stand toe to toe with the offenders, and offer compassionate, effective services to the survivors. 

Children living in an environment of domestic violence are in grave danger, and burying our heads in the sand only allows the brutality to continue.  Fortunately, this is a new age blessed with extraordinary services such as the Children’s Safety Center where children can talk about what has happened to them and know they will not be in trouble, professional police agencies where investigators dogmatically pursue truth and justice, and mental and physical health agencies ready and able to repair the damage and restore victims to wellness.  Victims don’t have to suffer a Gregory in a community courageous enough to acknowledge that men like him exist and compassionate enough to embrace survivors and help shoulder their burden. 

There is a battle waged daily in our community for the bodies and souls of innocent children like Stephanie. I invite you to pick a side, starting with the simple question of, “What can I do to help?”