It's been a while since we spoke of protection orders in this forum, and I was recently asked in a public forum, "Do protection orders really work?" So, let's revisit..
"A restraining order is just a piece of paper," some say. "It can’t stop a bullet or a knife."
Yep, they’re correct when they say this. I’ve never held up a piece of paper, be it a protection order or the U.S. Constitution, when threatened with bullets or bladed weapons, but I can tell you that restraining or protection orders save lives.
The biggest reason for this is that most people actually abide by them, and the small percentage of people who don’t can generally be effectively dealt with if, but only if, the law enforcement agency of jurisdiction respects the order and enforces infractions. Think of it as a crime prevention tool.
In short, a restraining or protection order is an order from a judge clearly telling one person (the Respondent) that he or she is to leave another person (the Petitioner) alone and to not make any attempts to be near that person. The order usually specifies places where the Respondent cannot go such as the Petitioner’s house, place of employment or school. Petitioners generally get protection or restraining orders at the municipal or county courthouse in the area where they live, and in some states police officers have the authority to grant them temporarily. I recommend calling the local police department or prosecutor’s office if you’re not sure where to request such an order in your area of the country.
Driving by the Petitioner’s house while screaming profanities and making insulting finger gestures has always fallen into the area of offensive actions, as have phone calls and letters. In the last few years, we’ve also seen lots of cases involving e-mail and cellular phone text message harassment.
Regardless, contact is contact, and it is my opinion that even text messages warrant action on the part of the local law enforcement agency if the Respondent sends such a message after having been served with a lawful order. Some would say that a text message or e-mail is no big deal, but in many cases a sent e-mail is merely a test by the Respondent to see what the "real" boundaries are. If the Petitioner responds back, even to curse him and tell him to leave her alone, a dialogue has begun. If the Petitioner doesn’t tell the police about the infraction, the Respondent knows that the boundary has been moved back from what the judge set. "Absolutely no contact" has now become a "little bit of contact." From there it is a simple matter to try to move the boundary again with a phone call. If she engages in his conversation and doesn’t tell anyone that the Respondent has broken the protection order, again, he now knows that yet another boundary has been set.
It progresses to a phone call, letter, or text message in which he begs for a meeting so he can tell her all the things he has done to correct his behavior. If she agrees to a meeting, he will tell her about getting baptized the night before, how he’s set up an appointment with a counselor, how he hasn’t had anything to drink in four days, and how lonely he has been without her.
Every relationship experiences tension, but sometimes in dysfunctional relationships that period of tension culminates in violence and an aggressive display of control to reestablish subservience. Very often that period of controlling violence is followed by what is referred to as the Honeymoon period during which the batterer makes lots of promises, goes to great lengths to make up for their "loss of control," and eventually convinces the victim that he will never hurt her again.
One of the great values in restraining/protection orders is that they short-circuit the honeymoon period and allow a period of time for the victim to get her head on straight about what she wants out of a relationship, whether she truly wants to be involved with the person who just beat her up, and what options and resources she has at her disposal so that she can get on with her life.
However, if the Respondent successfully moves the boundaries set by the court order, and he is eventually able to use all the manipulative charm he can muster, it is highly likely that he will convince her to come back and start the whole cycle all over again.
Even if that is not the case, if she truly has set her mind that she is not going back to him, the very fact that he is getting away with additional contact is unbalancing. The Petitioner took the time and committed the energy to ask a court to help her keep a person who has hurt her and frightened her away. If the Respondent ignores the court order and continues to make contact without any repercussions, how confident do you think she is going to be in the strength and authority of the court and local law enforcement?
Law enforcement officers need to look at protection order violations as direct insults to the criminal justice system. Without losing our tempers or challenging the Respondent to pistols at dawn, we need to feel a sense of disrespect toward our badge and to the law each time we hear of an infraction. This type of violation calls for action because action on the part of law enforcement sets the judge’s court order in concrete and makes the boundary absolutely clear.
Aggressive enforcement action is generally all it takes to re-establish the legal, correct boundary. Most people learn the lesson quite well after one arrest. Sitting in a jail cell for a few hours has a way of clarifying one’s priorities and setting straight how important it is to leave the Petitioner alone. I’ve said before that an arrest can be a blessing, certainly in this instance for the victim, but also for the Respondent in that it may stop him from carrying on in a way that will get him popped later for something more serious such as a Residential Burglary or a Stalking offense. Let’s put this in the category of "tough love," and move on.
Now, every once in a while you’ll have a guy that won’t learn his lesson easily. One arrest doesn’t do it, and maybe three or six won’t either. This is a very dangerous fellow. Ignorance or testing limits is one thing, but this type of offender is telling the world he doesn’t give a damn about judges, police, other people’s safety and security, or anything else for that matter. People like this are extremely controlling and narcissistic, believing themselves better than and above the law and the needs of others.
This personality is like a leech in that he will gulp down huge quantities of time, manpower, and the victim’s sense of well-being. He will try souls and fray nerves. He will smile at the time of arrest and blame everyone but himself when he bonds out.
And he will very likely end up damaging or killing the victim at some point if he is not stopped. Don’t take this offender lightly. Complete disrespect of lawful orders, especially on the heels of enforcement of said orders, is a huge red flag for danger.
Professional, responsive police agencies work hard with this group, disseminating information and photos of the suspect to all officers, providing heavy extra patrol at the victim’s home and place of employment, requesting warrants for more serious offenses when they apply, and dealing closely with the prosecutor and service agencies to make sure everything that can be done is done.
I’m a firm believer in Restraining/Protection Orders. They are effective in the majority of cases in getting one person to leave another alone, allowing time for the cycle of violence to be disrupted and hopefully replaced with a more positive, safe life pattern. They only work if police agencies don’t use them as a bluffing tool, so enforcement is critical when offenses occur. One arrest is generally all it takes, but repeated challenges to the order must be met with repeated enforcement. It is far better to prevent the crime, but aggressive enforcement of these valuable court orders can mean the difference between life and death, freedom or continued enslavement
