“She's colorful. She's irritable. She's blunt. She's beautiful. She's perfect. She's everything you could want in someone. She has every little quality.”
Those are the words uttered by the husband of a twenty-three year old woman he’d murdered two days earlier, hours before he confessed his crime to police and took them to her body. He made this statement to a news team who’d been filming him as he went house to house with flyers of his “missing” wife’s picture, begging neighbors to help him find his precious wife.
This case, which is unfolding in a city to the south of where I work even as I write this post is a perfect illustration of Batterer’s M.O., a topic about which I’d planned to write for some time.
Batterer’s M.O. is important to understand when dealing with survivors of domestic violence. This is especially true for family members who are feeling a sense of confusion as to who is telling the truth. For example, if your sister says that her husband is abusive, you’ll probably believe her. However, let’s say your sister has a history of being mean to family members or she has a mental illness that creates inconsistencies. In that case, the husband in question might be able to easily persuade her friends and family members that she was the root cause of all the problems.
All criminal classes have an M.O. (modus operandi, method of operation). Drunk drivers usually say they’ve only had two beers. Thieves will say they forgot to pay for an item or that they were merely borrowing the property. Dope holders tend to say they were holding the substance for a friend or that they are wearing someone else’s pants (yep, wearing someone else’s pants). The things criminals do is so routine that trained officers can immediately spot the lie as soon as it’s uttered.
This works well when speaking with domestic batterer’s. Remember that batterers are control freaks. They use physical force because this is an effective way to make the other members of the family do as they command. However, control comes in different packages, and charm is often one of these. Charming manipulation should be expected in these cases. It is the norm, and it is used so often that it can be utilized as an indicator of guilt.
So, when we are on scene of a domestic disturbance it is highly likely that the offender will sidle up next to an officer and say things like:
· You know how women are.
· She didn’t mean it. She’s just crazy.
· I’m sorry you guys had to come out here on something silly like this.
· She’s probably close to having her period.
All of these will be expressed in a charming, buddy-buddy type voice. Officers (and friends and family members) need to be wary of this behavior. It should come to you as a red flag.
Eventually they may realize the charm isn’t working, and this is when Batterer’s M.O. takes a turn to a new tactic. The batterer will start being more aggressive and hostile. This may be where he threatens to sue the officer or department. He may spout obnoxious things like, “You’re siding with her because…
· you guys always take the woman’s side…
· she’s pretty…
· I’m black, white, Hispanic, Marshallese, Asian…
· I’m not rich…
· I’m rich…
· I’m on parole…
· police are assholes…
· etc…
Alas, the intimidation method still didn’t work, so now it may be time to threaten violence. This almost always happens right after the handcuffs go on. How brave.
Batterer’s M.O. is real. In the case of this latest homicide, the victim’s husband did his level best to be charming and appear cooperative. He went so far as to portray himself as a worried, involved, loving husband in front of television cameras. It didn’t work because an on-the-ball police agency caught on to his malarkey, and maybe now he can work is Batterer’s M.O. on his cell mate.
